Robert Christgau: Dean of American Rock Critics

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Consumer Guide Album

The Nobodys: No Guarantees [Capitol, 1984]
In which Tonio K. conceives a band based on A Flock of Seagulls. The tunes are catchy, the vocals (by one Safeway Goya) appropriately anonymous, the lyrics knowing, satiric, and just a little off. Inspirational Verse: "They promised me the altar/ They promised me the moon/ They promised me Gibraltar/ But they didn't promise me you." B